why didn't you poke me back
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
