i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
