There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
