And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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