i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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