Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
