I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
