Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
