After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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