So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
