so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
