I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
