i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
