That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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