If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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