You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I just put wine in my tea
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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