She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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