I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
