He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
