Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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