That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize