Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is this like a preordered booty call?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
