I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
