I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
