Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i think im in europe. pls send help
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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