i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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