Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
