I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize