i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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