the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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