So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
