At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
