Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize