Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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