she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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