Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
