And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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