ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
