u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
