Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
