I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize