It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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