As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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