I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
