girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
