I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
