The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
