I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
