I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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