Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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