hotel room ftw
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
