I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
