I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize