I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize