Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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