Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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