I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
