hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
