she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
