I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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