Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
