By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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