Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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